Bahar brought home a package of those “pucks” you put in toilets to keep them clean. I was reading the instructions (not because I HAD to, but, you know …) and quickly decided that the product must have been made in China. What gave it away? This is what I read (grammar and punctuation as on the box).

Directions for use
1. can clean out the dirt, incrustations of close tool ( the edge part of the basin, inside,inner wall,and all parts even the whole water system.)
2 .each time the blue comes out can make the great cleanliness function, protect the enamel from cauterization, show the brightness off itself .
3. spread the fresh fragrance eliminate the bad smell. Keep the fresh, sweetness smell.
4. in the normal condition, can use more than one month.

Instructions
1. dilacerate the bright plastic box.
2. put in the water tank can be dissolved in water.
3. close the water tank, about 10 min. will have its great function.

Special Note
1. keep away from children. Without using the crack basin.
2. be affected by hot water and rigidity of water.

Ok. Where to start??? My favourites — I didn’t know enamel could be cauterized. I don’t think I’ve ever dilacerated a plastic box. Keep away from children? No kidding, who knows what regulations it was made under. Can be affected by the rigidity of water? What’s a crack basin? The spelling is spot on, no mistakes. I guess they didn’t run a grammar check!

This type of language is known as Engrish. Read more about it at engrish.com. Maybe I should submit these instructions …

What happens when you make blackened fish and chicken in a small kitchen? Smoke. LOTS of smoke. The instant the meat hits the iron skillet, the resulting smoke completely covers the meat and it disappears. After about 15 seconds, you flip the meat and create even more smoke. The windows were open, the fans were going but we were making more smoke than the fans could remove. At least the smoke alarms didn’t go off.

Blackened meats are best made on a superhot iron skillet which we did on our oven. Next time we’ll be using the skillet on the bbq. We’ll get good spices too, we tried making our own cajun seasoning and it didn’t turn out so good.

This doggy was free. I woke up Saturday morning, looked outside the window and saw this dog munching on some leftover McDonald’s left on the ground. He wasn’t leashed, and I didn’t see anyone nearby. I put on my coat and went outside to see if he was lost. He didn’t appear to be distraught, as his tail was wagging and he was walking up the street going door to door. He seemed to have caught a scent, as his nose was glued firmly to the ground during his walk. Perhaps he was looking for more McDonald’s.

I followed him up the street, wondering if he would eventually walk to his own house. He walked into the neighbouring townhouse complex and continued his quest for more McDonald’s. To my surprise, he found some a few houses up and devoured the soggy french fries without breaking stride. Impressive. As he wandered around I decided that he didn’t really know where he was going and was just looking for more food. The bell on his collar was full of snow, so I figured he’d been outside for awhile.
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